worried: where did i go to?

yesterday during singapore studies lecture, one of my friends from secondary school made an announcement about this student initiative that she and a group of friends had set up. but what struck me was how eloquent and developed the whole presentation was. it was so simple, but it was how she presented that made a huge impression on me. then i thought about myself and wondered where my eloquent self went to. she was here when i did my writing for edm. she was here during sec sch and most of jc. just that… where did she go to now?

done

bought! now can’t wait for it to come, and for me to start using it.

and so it has begun

in a recent attempt to access a web download site, i received a certain message that has never ever flashed up on my laptop screen. that

The website which you are trying to access is restricted by the Media Development Authority (MDA).

figuring that there was something wrong, i entered the url again. and yet again, the message flashed up on the screen. what the hell was going on? this wasn’t china, was it? nope. and then i realised that stupid Opennet thing that HDB has us install was doing a blanketguard. sheesh man. this is turning out to be like one HUGE MOE. they do a blanketguard and you’re restricted from certain websites. and here i was thinking about how come the singaporean government was so friendly to provide a waiver of the installation fee for the first 15m of the opennet optical fibre (which is listed at a cost of around 200-450 sgd). i mean, it wasn’t anytime  THAT near to election time.

so yes.*shrugs* you’ve got your measures, so do i.

singapore is turning into one big china. i’m just waiting for the huge Firewall to come up now.

of pomengranates, stars and beer

today was a saturday. not just any other ordinary saturday, but the saturday of the weekend when my sister went to bintan with her boyfriend and his family. naturally, dad was silently fuming all weekend.

and so i didn’t stick around the house. so i spent my afternoon in the wonderful world of financial economics, spirited away and the sound of music.

it didn’t help that on the way home i was listening to music that i usually played in germany. it’s hard to avoid it — i rarely change my playlist. the music got me in a pretty depressed mood. not to mention that i started to think about pomemgranates. especially that one single last pomengranate which i never got around to eating because i had to throw it away in my hurry to catch the train to frankfurt am main airport. which also meant that i had never gotten around to saying a proper goodbye to my room + the area. which kinda works out for me, because up till now, i don’t really feel that i’ve left the place for good. it only feels like i’m away from mannheim for the holidays (and chinese new year), and that i’ll be back in a few weeks time. but no. i don’t think i’ll most probably never get back to mannheim for a stint that long. or at the very least, ulmenweg 55, haus 5, zimmer 101.

it was good while it lasted though. those few nights when i ventured out at 11pm looking for an apotheke pretty desperately. those days when i lugged bags and bags of junk food back, only to stuff it on my shelf and proceed into the kitchen to eat my salad. those last few evenings laughing my ass off with my friends. those beautiful mornings when i studied on my windowsill. those days when i would go on a supermarkt craze, go on a supermarkt hunt and end up visiting 6 different supermarkets (read: 6 different chains) in a day. those days when i would stuff myself with haribo.

those days are long gone. it’s sad, but i’ve only the choice of integrating the whole experience in my life. to use it to further shore me up, to build myself up again, and use the whole experience actively. because i know that if i leave it to sink into my past, i would become the person i was before i left singapore for germany. and i know that i came back a better person from germany. a better, more mature and more well-developed person. changed, definitely, but i’ve got to use whatever i have to the best.

so, kudos to germany. thank you.

and after looking at a certain someone’s facebook page, i realise that i have indeed moved on. i’m proud of myself. truly.

so far…

This week so far has been pretty slow. right up from last friday, when i missed lessons coz i was so sluggish (due to flu + slight fever), till today, i haven’t felt like i’ve properly gone to school. which also results in staying home quite a bit. due to the new cable tv installation at home. Deutsche-Welle, Discovery, Cartoon Network, DW-TV, Nickalodeon, Cartoon Network, DW-TV, Discovery, Discovery, Discovery. frankly, i’ve seen so much Discovery that the Discovery Song was stuck in my head for quite a while, boom-de-yadaing its whimsical day through my head. have i told you how much i love discovery?

anyway, yes, so proudly i crowed last week to the entire universe that IWasOnTopOfMyWorkload. today, i re-took my mental inventory and realised that *gasp* due to me missing lessons, i’m now behind workload. which means i need to do a lot of catching up. which also means that i’m to have another sleepless, caffeine-filled night tonight to cram for Colour & Vision CA tmrw. which i should be able to handle. since it’s 15 MCQs. in 15mins. :S but… WHAT IF I CAN’T?!?!?!

so yes, i was cramming when i got distracted by Reuben’s facebook update which read:

Reuben Lai Go to urbandictionary.com, type in your first name, copy and paste this as your status, and put the first entry for your name under comments.

and his was subsequently:

Reuben Lai

A deli sandwich made with Rye, Swiss cheese, Pastrami, Sauerkraut, and Russian Dressing. One of the best sandwiches to get at diner or authentic Deli.

so i ventured off to find the meaning of Life my name, but couldn’t bring to put it on my facebook update because:

1. Alison

buy alison mugs, tshirts and magnets A beautiful, hott, sexy girl. One who thinks she is not pretty but is the most gorgeous person ive ever seen. she will one day end up with all she ever dreamed of, because she didnt take advantage of what she had when she was younger. damn i want an Alison!!

dang. what can i say?! i’m so motivated to trudge onward with my never-ending quest of knowledge of Biophysics, seeking the answers to the intensely intriguing and intellectually stimulating puzzle of ‘why is the sky blue’.

woohoo to me.

The “beautiful, hott and sexy girl”.

:(

can’t breathe.

For the first time

For the first time in ages, I’ve taken a good long look at myself, taken stock of myself once again. Somehow after doing so, I kinda figured out why some things turned out the way they are.

It’s actually strange when you look at yourself in the mirror, and you don’t see yourself but really as a third person.

Sorry. Today’s my long day, coz of tut discussion, I have a straight 8 to 4, shuttling to and fro sci and arts somewhere in the middle. That and the fact that I’m still recovering from flu/overheating/ cough. And I think I’m pmsing. And because of being sick, now I’m lagging from being on top of work. Talk about being annoyed

旧爱

was bored from studying just now. doing tuts and readings on a perfect day is….*sigh* i do miss my windowsill in ulmenweg 55, haus 5, zimmer 101 though. and i do agree that i would study more if i were sitting on my windowsill on a perfect day. the view, perfect. here in spore, windowsill, zilch. not to mention, i’d NOT be sitting on a windowsill on the 7th storey. i still want to take my exams, thank you very much.

but i digress. was bored from studying just now, so i surfed facebook and chanced upon this person i used to know. let’s call this person X — X’s name shall not be revealed because X was really well-known back then. so yes. X has already graduated. anyway, bored through my nails, i went to surf X’s facebook pictures. some of them quite funny lar. then i saw this picture of X, which was taken quite coincidentally with my crush from Year 1. like. omg. to imagine that i would never ever see my crush ever again. haha. still. looking back to those days (and i do feel old talking this way), i can’t believe that i actually had a crush on him (not X).

hurr hurr hurr.

german 6

bored, so i went to have a look at the worksheets that they’re going through in german 6. now i have this sense of… loss. that this semester, i’m no longer facing a huge pile of worksheets with words that the normal student wouldn’t understand. if i have time, i’m going to go through the german 6 worksheets as well.

WHY AREN’T THEY OFFERING GERMAN 5 THIS SEM?!?!!?!?

it sucks. like shit.

proud of min, i am.

was too hot to sleep tonight, so i came out again into the dining room to sit with min. she’s writing her article. and i, after some studying into the wee hours of the day, decided to stop because concave and convex mirrors and international trade were too dry to do at this particular time of the day.

then i realised that i’m actually on top, not just on top, but ahead of my readings. i’m prepping for the next lecture, and have already attempted the tutorials the day they came out. for once, i’m on top of my workload. and on top of all of this, i’m actually having fun with my friends, meeting them plus random dinners with aunts, and doing what i want, with my extra reading of marx on the side.

proud of min, i am, i tell you.

now. if i can keep it up till the end of semester, i will have a really fulfilling last semester, whether my studying is directly positively correlated to my grades…. i hope so. but since nus grades based on a stupid bell curve, hard to say. comparative advantage, not absolute advantage man. :S

that being said, lovely start to the week, i must say. got to school late, met fung and alycia for lunch in sch, and skipped all my lectures. not that i’m planning to do that all mondays of the semester, but i had already prepped for them (done my readings, read my notes, plus the lecturers mainly repeat what the readings say). then went out of sch, initially to catch Law Abiding Citize at Vivo, but ended up drinking at Brotzeit. mmmmmmmmmm… german bier. :D:D:D:D:D:D after that, met my aunts for dinner at mandarin (spread was pretty good), came back so stuffed from the meal. sat out in the dining room and studied till 2am. then i stopped because it was too dry, and i couldn’t really concentrate after a while. went in, decided that i couldn’t sleep and then i started cleaning my hairbrush. that done, i STILL couldn’t sleep. so here i am, on facebook, wordpress, and waiting for Love Aaj Kal to finish loading so i can finish watching the show. dang.

tmrw? no class. at all. but going back to sch for mac’s breakfast with omela and alycia, then meeting fung for lunch. going to squeeze in some studying before breakfast and lunch, and after lunch. then head to jp to return dvds, back to school to study, and then off to esplanade. FOR ANDREW BIRD. WWWOOOOHHHOOOO.

love my lifestyle now.

off to watch love aaj kal. and my apologies for a blow-by-blow account of my day again.